perhaps, like Chickie said, I was aiming too high. To post something joyful every day. I'm not going to lie, it was easy at first. Fresh off the high of family time, job was going good. volcano was disappearing.
then reality came back. I'm still on my eating plan (mostly) and I'm still exercising (I'm over 4000 lunges and squats) I'm still looking for the joy every day and still trying to avoid spreading any negativity. The volcano is back, dormant, painful.
There have been moments when I have wanted to crawl under my desk. Or strangle someone through the computer. I've threatened to take a personal day. I've gone outside just to feel the snow on my face because that was the only thing I believed would pull me back into some semblance of happy right at that moment.
I'm just trying to find my balance, that's all. And hopefully, it won't get any uglier. I mean, I know it's going to get more stressful. I just hope that I can handle it better than I have in the past.
Everything is going to be okay.