This is getting rediculous

I don't know how it is for you, but I'm getting increasingly frustrated with this whole need-a-password-for-everything thing.

I used to keep the same password for everything. It made it really easy to remember. I would just change numbers when I needed to change it. Then I added another one. And another one. So now I have three different passwords. Which is fine, I know it's one of the three.

But then, the numbers in one place don't change at the same pace as the others. it might be 1, it might be 15. Did I capitalize? Is there a space? Is there a special character? I don't know! So I change it and further lose track of what I changed it to.

I need people to stop trying to steal identities because this password thing? Gonna drive me mad. I'd write them down but they are supposed to be SECRET passwords. So I DO write them down and then stick them in random hidey places only to be found after I have changed the password because I forgot that I wrote it down OR I hid it so well I can't find it.

Not a good way to hold on to the few threads of sanity I have left.

Honestly? I just want to get online, pick out a Primary Care Physician so I can get my thyroid (and my pearl*) checked out to see if maybe I'm not just mentally but hormonally imbalanced and THEN, if I am, maybe I can fix it and I won't be so absent minded anymore. AND maybe not gain weight whether I over eat or not.

*I developed a lump on my back. It was a zit or something that healed over and never went away. It's firm but doesn't grow. neither is it discolored in any way. My girly dr said it looks like a fatty deposit but "that's not her area of expertease so I should probably go get a second opinion" She didn't even want to look at it (she referred me to my PCP but I didn't have one then either. Come on, I go to the Dr once a year.) but I was insistant that she make me feel better. Since it doesn't do anything but look like a bump, I can generally ignore it. I decided that I got some sand or something stuck under my skin and someday when the Dr removes it they will find a lovely pearl. Which is WAY better than the other thing I think which is that they will a) remove it with a melon baller leaving a giant cratery scar on my otherwise blemishless back. (snort) b) It will be icky in there and someone will have to help me clean it out while it heals as I have heard does happen and I don't really have anyone nearby that I feel like I can go to for that stuff. There's a couple of people who would likely do it if I asked, but that's a super personal thing that I just can't ask of anyone. "Hi! Will you help me irrigate my pearl hole? I can't reach it since it's right in that spot that only Gumby can get to. Here's a turkey baster and some H2O2"

Allright. I think my password has been reset (again). Since I have my control journal with me today, I think I'll just go ahead and jot it down this time. In a made up language so no one can access my medical files and steal my identity. Including myself in all likelyhood...

Whooo Arrrre Yoooou?

I had a blog post all ready to go in my head complete with graphics and a title. But then I got distracted by something shiney, which was actually work and not shiney at all and completely forgot what I was going to post about. Since I hate to waste a good graphic and title, I thought I would post them anyway. So here you go. If I remember what I had to say later, I'll just edit.

Adventures in the hometown

It's nice to be back from my holiday in San Diego. It amazes me that it really doesn't much feel like home any more. I'll always love the city, it will always be my hometown. But I'm no longer up to date on the current locations of all the Starbucks in the city. A few highlights:

• I announced to my mother that I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (Bratty and I have been having fun with the song) She responded that she is NOT getting me a damn hippopotamus for Christmas. Plus, I would have to hire someone to take care of it. Today, Bratty and I decided that someone needs to genetically modify POCKET HIPPOS so we can have one. There would be less trampleing risk and the poo would be way smaller. I'm thinking something the size of a Chiwawoodle. (do they make those yet? If not, I just copyrighted the name with my creativity so you have to pay me if you use it.)
• Playing pranks on my mom is fun.
• Actually, hanging out with my mom is fun. She says the darndest things.
• LOTS of quality family time especially with Seester and the Nieces. The Nieces are funny, but I have to say, that Mini Me is damned hilarious. And she knows it. You never saw a 14 month old (huh?) pull off deadpan humor like that kid.
• I never get to see the everyone I want to see, but this time I got closer than I usually do
• These trips are expensive.
• I apparently am able to poke my Seester with my eyeballs.
• There was a lot of laughter and good times. I was and am overflowing with gratitude.

I must REALLY love him

There are a few things that I didn't consider when I first picked up Chango and he lay his little black head on my shoulder.
Firstly, I didn't know I could want a dog as much as I wanted him. It was love at first snuggle and I can't imagine a better match. He keeps me in line. Maybe it's the Border Collie? and like any good collie, he keeps me out of trouble. Like how he tells me it's time for bed or that I've forgotten that I'm cooking dinner and its about to burn.
He's a really good boy.
But, I didn't consider kennel costs. If I did, I just didn't think there would be this many weddings, holidays, baptisms, or VERY IMPORTANT birthdays.  Or how often I'm not at home. Or how I might date someone who prefers his house over mine. (Chango gets to visit sometimes too and I'm sure said date would be happy to go to my house, but his is neater and tends to smell a lot less like bunny).
I also didn't consider that he might have a sensitive belly.

Sensitive belly means that he often gets the P&Ps. The poop and pukes. And it often happens that I'm not at home so it's all over himand his kennel when I get home. Then there was the night I had a very realistic dream that someone squeezed a mustard bottle and immedietly woke up knowing, the sound didn't come from my dream.

Poor boy. He always looks so unhappy, but he sure likes to eat chicken and rice for a few days until I put him back on food. And of course, the expensive stuff bothers him the least...

We have a routine though.

1) I come home, take a deep breath, and say, "oh no" (Hi Baby! (Phew!) I know, thank goodness I made it home AGAIN! Lets go take care of your brother)
2) Into the laundry room I go...
3) "Hi bug. I know. you're a good boy. you didn't do it on purpose" during which I open his kennel and we run through the house (thank goodness for tile flooring because it's always on his paws) and out the kitchen door

Now, time before last that this happened, he shook himself all over the kitchen. twice. Now I am smart enough to hold his scruff until he is out the door.

4) clean clean, scrub, scrub, bleach.
5) Into the tub he goes.
6) tub clogs (this has happend twice). Dog watches me as I carefully balance myself on the sides of the tub, nakid (no pictures!) and shower the dirty away one half a body at a time. Thank goodness my shower has a handicap bar.

He's on Iams Natural now which is supposed to not have any allergens. Lets hope it works out for him...

They took away Pinterest

At work. You know, because it's a time suck. So, um, you'll likely see a lot more of me inane ramblings. I can only focus on excel for so long...

In other news, I had an incident today. It isnt' really that big of a deal but enough that it tickles my brain and I need to talk about it some more.

Now, I'm one of those loyal shoppers. I pick something and I generally stick with it because it's usually easier than changing it.

I eat the same foods, shop at the same stores, nearly never rearrange my furniture, I generally stick with the same job unless I am REALLY unhappy (and even then) or I get the itch to expand my horizons which, well, that's another story.

The point is that I made an appointment for a teeth cleaning 6 months ago after my last cleaning appointment. I am VERY interested in keeping my teeth. They help me eat cupcakes. And steak. My appointment was Monday. ( I think. it might have been last week.) Come to think of it, my original appointment was on the 9th.

They called and changed it to last week. Then again to today. I choose the latest appointment I can get because I want to go home after my cleanings. What I SHOULD do is go first thing in the morning so I can be all shiney and polished at my coworkers all day. But, habits.

So, they changed it to today which was fine. Then they wanted me to change it to an appointment an hour earlier, which was also fine, I have things to do this afternoon.

Then they wanted to change it to 2 hours earlier than the last earlier time. I told her I have too much work to do to go in at one; the day before a long holiday can be VERY hectic. Can be.

I understand that they want to leave early today. So do I. But if that was the case, they should have planned for it before I set an appointment and cleared it with my manager. The Hygenist didn't want to clean my teeth at 3 pm as originally shecduled so that asked to reschedule me next Monday.

I rescheduled. With a new dentist.

Whether you are a retail chain or a Doctor, there's something called customer service. And quite frankly, I don't have the patience for the bad kind. The truth is, although they are providing me a service, they are there for me, I'm not there for them. I like them, I really do. As people. But I'm thinking that as a dental practice, they are more concerned with going home early than cleaning my teeth. That's ok. I'm just going to switch to a place that is more likely to keep my appointment times.

I almost cried at the grocery store today

I was there buying personal items to donate when I sat something stuck in with the deodorants. It was a business card that had been ripped in half, but put back together and placed at eye level.

Of course, I had to investigate.

What it said was that such and such a casino supports the gay pride parade. And for the moral safety of your children, you should boycott them. Because gay people are evil. every one of them. And they are out there out there to turn your children on to their homosexual ways.

Funny, in all my years of association with gay people, (and there have been many, many years) I have never seen them try to recruit. I have never been propositioned. Sure, I worked with a woman who would stare freely down my shirt, but I have worked with far more men who have done the same. I have never been encouraged (except by strait men) to experiment with women.

It made me sad. With all the talk about acceptance, all the discussions on stopping the bullying, there are people out there spreading hate. Believe what you want, but there is enough hate in the world. There is no need to encourage it.

Flashbacks

I wasn't blogging yet the first time my city was burning. I can't actually remember if I ever talked about it here.

I have to say that the fires today have brought back a lot of memories. I still can't stand the smell of wood burning. The constant watch over the news. Phone trees to see if everyone is ok.

I'm lucky this time, though, that the fires are nowhere near my home or my work (we did close a couple of branches today though) and that most of my friends live on the other side of town like me.

I do have a couple of friends that live in affected areas. Please keep them in your thoughts along with the thousands of others affected by the fires.

There's something wrong down there.

We all know I'm not the neatest person in the world (although, thanks to http://www.flylady.org/ I am TOTALLY getting there! YES! I drank the flavor aide and am a full fledged flybaby! I love it!) and when it comes to my clothing, I care a little less than I should.

That's not true.

What is true is that I have accepted that I can't afford to dress in the manner I would like and I am far too lazy too mend. I have to force myself to get rid of things that are worn or ill fitting (I always wash them first) but I am getting better about that too. I have started throwing out stuff with even the tiniest stains and the other day? I managed to match my socks to my shirt, my underthings to each other, I wore a belt (needs replacing) and my shoes and handbag matched insomuch as they were both black. So was the belt. Progress. Baby steps. Apparently, that's still not good enough, but whatever. My sisters have been trying to affect my wardrobe for years. like, 20 years. Wait. better make that 30. I have never been a fashionista. I do admire them though. And wonder how they afford it...

There's one thing I am insistant about.

One thing that is (almost) always in good repair.

Socks.

They are matched according to wear level and color fade, folded and put away. If they are thin, they go into the trash or the monkey pile. (except the cookie monster socks)

Today I was sitting at my desk when suddenly, something felt a little funny.

You know. Down THERE.

In my shoe. (which also needs to be replaced. I've already plugged one hole in the sole with hot glue)

I took off my shoe and saw to my horror... my big toe. I have errands to run after work. And my big toe is NAKID. Not okay. If I wasn't still at work I'd draw a face on it. Then I would feel better. I'd totally get caught though. Shoe off, toe out, with a sharpie...

My favorite time of the year

I'm sure that I mention every year that Halloween has always been a particular favorite of mine. Like most things, I have calmed my fervor over the years; there are no longer bats hanging from my ceiling year round, and I no longer dream of decorating in a gothic manner, but to me, Halloween is more that a high holiday, more than candy and costumes, it's the start of "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (you know you sang that. I did.)

Halloween marks the beginning of spicy smells, gift giving, food eating, and family time. Cooler weather and crisp mornings. I love crisp mornings, I just don't like to get out of bed to greet them.

On Halloween night, I look forward to watching the movie standards and giving away candy. But it seems to me that somehow, the trick or treat ettiquite has been lost.

Trick or Treating, is for kids. I think I stopped when I was 16. I just didn't feel right going around and asking for candy among the 7 year olds. And the adults gave me and my cleavage a look that said, maybe this should be your last year. Last night, I had adults. And I don't mean adults with kids, I mean 50 and 60 year old women at my house, in costume and not, without children, asking for candy. I try not to be rude, I gave them candy. And when I ran out, the first thing I thought was, I told that 10 year old no because someone's grandmother was here.

Teens, have a costume on. SOMETHING that tells me you're having fun with it. Don't just show up on my doorstep in your hoodie and jeans. It you are too old to dress up, you're too old to trick or treat. Yes. I gave them candy anyway. And when I sent away the 8 year olds at 8pm, I thought of those teens next. Bigger than me, no costume, out begging for candy.

Parents with babies that have no teeth, you aren't fooling anyone. Go home. I know you've been excited to show off your baby and his/her costume. They are SUPER CUTE! but I know they aren't eating that candy. Go buy some like I do.

Unless you have allergies, please don't look at what I just put in your bag. When all I had left were singular starburst that I pulled out of my own stash, I felt bad that I didn't have any more mini candy bars. I didn't have any more candy bars because I gave them to someone's grandma.

I did have one woman who politely told me that her son was allergic to peanuts and I gladly gave them a different piece of candy. They were actually my favorite group of the night. The kid was adorable and had excellent manners, and the adults were clearly having a good time.

After I ran out of candy, I turned off my porch light, unplugged the wreath, and let my dog out of his kennel. Chango doesn't like Halloween because he is protective of me and my house so rather than have him bark at everyone all night, I put him away. If the lights are off, that means that house is not participating. Please don't knock/ring and make me hold the dog while he barks his head off, and tell you that I ran out of candy (because I gave it to a bunch of un-costumed teens). I feel bad, I want to give you candy, but I don't have any left that I am not planning to eat. (I saved one of each of the three types of candy I bought for my own consumption and they were goooood)  I turn off the lights so you know not to come to my house. Thats how it works. If you follow this, then you aren't disturbing the people who don't celebrate Halloween.

Next year, I might have to get mean.