Sigh

Operation "get over it" seems to be failing miserably. I am considering a total abort not because there aren't nice guys out there, I have been spending time with one, but because this doesn't seem to be the best way to go about things when I just don't seem to be that interested. Maybe it's the person. Maybe it's me. Either way, I don't want to do to anyone what the Cowboy did to me; be in limbo-with-possibility and then one day, after many, many months say, despite our good times and easy conversations, despite my attraction, I'm not into you.

Although I stayed, knowing full well the situation I was in and that it might not turn out the way I wanted, he also waited 8 months to end it. He had to have known all along. I think he tried for all the wrong resons.

I don't want to do that to anyone. It hurt a lot. It still does, just not every day like it did before. I would rather be alone and to pretend to be into someone for any reason.

And soon. There has been no progression beyond a quick hug at my car at the end of a date, which is great(!) because I don't want to jump into anything. I think that lesson finally soaked in. (I hope) But I have a feeling that in another date or two, he's gonna start maybe looking for kisses. and I just don't want to go there.