I was catching up on the news on Friday morning when an article caught my eye. It was something about adults with ADHD and how it affects their lives. Even since I took my first internet "DO you have ADD" test, I have recognized the symptoms in myself. When my counselor, so many years ago, asked me if I thought I had it (after talking to me for about 10 seconds...) I told her that the internet says I do, but that I am hesitant to self diagnose.
Many of the symptoms are there though and have been. Reading through my childhood report cards is enough to show a classic case during a time when children were rarely diagnosed with the condition (as opposed to now when they are diagnosed all the time!) "Gina has trouble focusing" "Gina daydreams a lot" "Gina would be a great student if she would stay on task" Even now I have moments when I am focused and moments when I just let myself do things in the order that they happen. I walked into the living room yesterday to discover that I had gotten distracted from my task of winding the vacuum cord. It sat half finished in the middle of the floor.
This is not the point however. The article talked about some of the psychological issues that accompany the syndrome. Feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, occasional depression.
Just when I was asking myself, "Dude! When did I get to be so damn needy??" there was an answer. I'm not saying that it IS the answer, I'm saying that now, when I'm feeling low or I'm getting all nutty because I haven't heard from my wife in a day (oh my goodness! is she mad at me? what did I do?), I can ask myself if I'm being valid or if I'm chemically funny. And maybe I will be able to need less and be normal. (they say this stuff can worsen with age and hormone fluctuations) I don't want meds, I have learned to deal with my difficulties but it never occurred to me that there may be a valid reason I go wacko every so often. Even if I try to hide it.
Meanwhile, I had a wonderful weekend! I skated a little on Friday night, and was able to reach the goal of 100 laps in 20 minutes on my first try (100 laps in 17.38 and I didn't even push! but I did get tired) I spent the day Saturday cleaning house and then Wifey, BIL, and Toxic came over. We watched movie and ate pizza, drank beer and hot buttered rum, ate cheesy poofs and hostess cupcakes... It was fantastic. Today I puttered about, went shopping (but didn't buy), made breakfast (not in that order) I can't remember when I had such a relaxing time. I am greatful for it.
It was a stellar weekend.