The punishment for being nice

I am, I have to say, a little too nice. In wifey's words, I'm a doormat. I know that. She's one too. we support each other in trying to get up offa the floor and be mean.

Not really mean, but not doormats anymore.

I am becomming addicted to the word "no". seriously, the word "no" has been giving me a little bit of a high lately.

When the former roommate called me on Saturday to see if she and the dogs could come stay with me for a few days? I said no. It's no longer okay for me to have 4 dogs in the house. Plus, I just spend mad money on all new bedding and a lot of time on cleaning carpets and walls and such. No. I felt a little bad, but I have to look out for my own comfort now.

The guy who contacted me on messager while I was happily chatting with CNR the other night? (Back story. Many many moons ago, before B, this guy found me on the internet and wanted to chat on messager. I wasn't interested in him but agreed because I didn't want to be mean. then I decided he was strange. And funny how I was always too busy to talk to him. Or I would hide behind online invisible status. Finally, I deleted him for my contacts and didn't hear from him again. Until the other night when his green rainbow writing popped up asking for a messenger invite) I told him no. I told him that I decided that we have nothing in common. That my instincts were telling me that I didn't want to have contact with him. He still didn't get it. He suggested that we meet face to face so I could make up my mind for reals. No. I hope he finally got the hint. He certainly sent a pouty face.

Today, I walked into work knowing I had a lot to do. A LOT. I sat down and put my nose to the grindstone. Now, ordinarily I bend over backwards to make sure that my guys have the things they need but today, I'm busy. So when one of them asked me to head up to HR to get everybody a badge clip, I said no. I announced that it was just as easy for him to go do it as it is for me. And funny, how I didn't really feel guilty.

This is becomming a habit. My wife will be proud. I realized that the punishment for being nice is that I am inconvienenced a lot for other people's happiness. I WANT people to be happy, and I want to help them. Generally, I have no problem doing so and in many cases will look for ways to BE helpful. But my back is getting tired. I can only bend over for so long.