Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Confessions

I saw a movie last night that really hit home.

While I am not nearly as exaggerated as the main character and I am very much more open about my issues, in many ways, she could easily have been me.

Hello. My name is Ginamonster, and I am a Shopaholic. 

Anyone that knows me knows that I have places I call hot spots. I try to avoid them. Hot spots are places I can't seem to resist spending money. Not on designer clothes, on stuff. Wal Mart. PetSmart. Joanne's Fabric. Lowes. Places I can't seem to go without spending money. Money I don't have. It isn't that the items call me in from the store windows or that I would risk a job interview or a friendship to shop; but maybe I would if I hadn't realized many years ago that I have a problem.

I think Wal Mart was my first Hot Spot. It was a wonderland of cheap stuff I didn't think I could live without. I would go there, tell myself I could have anything I wanted, and I would. For some reason, money wasn't really an issue, it was space. The space filled up fast. When  I moved from my apartment I found stuff that was still in the bag. Still had tags. Stuff that I had repurchased because I had forgotten I already had it. Stuff, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I needed in the first place.

I've gotten better. I made up rules. If I can't answer the two questions, I cannot buy whatever item I am craving.

What am I going to use it for?
Where am I going to put it?

I'm also not "allowed" to buy anything I can't carry. I will often pick up a small basket and fill that instead of getting a large one. I will find a way to fill it. It's FUN to fill up the basket. It is NOT fun to carry around a heavy load of whatever. There are exceptions to this. Sometimes, I need more room. Like when I am grocery shopping or I have big things to buy. Which brings me to the OTHER rule.

I can't buy it if I don't know how I am going to get it home. My car is a shopping machine. It can hold a LOT of stuff. But nothing over 6 ft. or Wider than about 4 ft. Which pretty much covers anything that I might want to buy that I can't carry but I still stick to the rule. It's safer that way.

It's hard, when I am in the craft store or at the home supply store. I can ALWAYS think of something to do with that stuff. I need a new plant. I need a new lawn thingy. I need... No I don't. I mean, sometimes I do, but mostly I don't. Heck, I could probably open my own craft store.

Walk away.

Most of the time I can. And I do. As long as I stay away from those places. And control the urge.

I understand that like any addiction, I will always have it. I may be able to decline a drink or say "No" to drugs, but a sale is tough. 

And getting rid of all that crap is tougher. I'm looking forward to packing my belongings because I will have the opportunity to go through everything again. I'm planning a garage sale. And maybe even a craft stash-buster sale. 

I don't really want to take it all with me. Again.

3 comments:

RebTurtle said...

Yeah, Wally World is dangerous, but not as bad as Home Desperate and Hardware Hawaii. Unfortunately, my shopping machine fits a little more stuff I don't really need than yours does. I can go 2 years on 3 shirts and 4 pairs of jeans from Wal Mart, but can't go a month without hitting a hardware store of some kind.

Sensei Ern said...

OK, My hot spot...yes only one. Book stores.

I go to Barnes & Noble (Nobel?) and I have no idea what I want to read, I just know that knowledge is freedom and books hold knowledge, and I want to be freed.

So, I wander the aisles like Walmart zombies at 2 am. I see a book on Extreme Weather...bought it.

Self-taught Tai Chi. Bought.

A whole kit to draw and paint horses...bought.

Even the times I do not buy a book, if I read a book to consider buying it, I feel guilty for breathing the store's re-circulated air, and putting fingerprints on their wares that I have to buy something.

I have a notebook I use for my daily journal that is now a weekly journal and will soon be a monthly journal.

Which I write in with the pen that is also an FM radio.

Which I bought after I lost the siler-plated fancy-smancy pen.



Craft stores I have under control. I only buy things I know I need, and things that inspire me to expand my craft talents. You should see the Conan-esques leather braces i made. Since I don't want tatoos, I painted gold tribal tats on the black leather.

It's kinda cool...in a Napolean Dynomite sorta way.

Any place else, I go window shopping. If I really want something, I set aside money until I save enough for it, or realize I don't relly need it.

Chickie said...

Michael's craft store...I'm not even crafty but I like little shiny things. And eBay...man, I should kill my PayPal account.

I admire your strength. For real.