Tuesday, August 04, 2009

I don't know why there was a difference

I woke up this morning feeling more like myself than I have felt in a long time. Well rested, and, sadly, happy.

It's sad because I am generally a happy person. The last several weeks or months or however long it's been have been strange for me. I don't really know what changed, what shifted, but suddenly, I feel a renewed sense of who I am and how I feel about my life.

Maybe it was the good dreams. Maybe it was something else, I don't know, but I woke up this morning and felt for the first time in a long time not like it was just another day in the grind, but happy to be alive and living my life. 

I carried that with me thorough the day. I made plans with Mandrew to meet at the dog park and maybe to go to the Habitat for Humanity store tomorrow to see what they have. He's someone I have in my world with whom I can chat about building stuff and working on our houses. It was nice to hang out and catch up this afternoon at the park. We'd both gotten busy or something over the last few months and I should be more careful of that. He's been a good friend to me. 

NG and I communicated today too and we are going to get together and talk on Friday. That was another weight off my shoulders. I'm excited and nervous and a bit apprehensive. He and I need to talk, and no matter what, talking is a good thing. 

Kristen is coming to town for my birthday! Well, not really my birthday, more for an old friend's wedding, but she will be here for my birthday and that is fantastic. We'll be hanging out with RebTurtle and kicking up our heels like old times. I have promised not to wear holy fishnets to the wedding, (I think the groom would find it funny) and my hair should be completely blonde by then (I'm still a little lavender after the bout last weekend). I wasn't completely excited about it until tonight when we firmed up her flight plans and discussed hotel accommodations. 

As I spoke with her, I worked on a little bit o business. Soapy business. When she asked me what I was doing, I was excited to tell her. I got animated  about the possibilities ahead of me. That was a  wonderful feeling. One I haven't had in awhile either. Glorious. 

Tomorrow is also full of possibility. So good to feel normal again.

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