Friday, July 24, 2009

Hi. it's been awhile

Internet at home is spotty at best so I have been avoiding it. Which is great when you consider how much housework and reading and time i have had and how much time I have been spending with my dog.

I have just a couple of things. One may not make sense because I just need to get it out.

Sometimes, I read things on the internet that hurt me. They have nothing to do with me and should make me happy for the persons involved, but instead, they make me cry a little inside. For many many reasons. This is why twitter and blogging can be bad.

Where NG is concerned, things are where they have always been. Except I have expressed a need for them to change. His kids have returned to their home and he still has no time to spend with me. This time because his brother is still in town. The girls say it sounds like he is seeing someone else too and I cannot argue with them. I have begun to wonder myself. Which means it is likely true. I deserve better than that. If he isn't seeing someone else, then I still deserve better than what I am getting. I told him we both needed to make more of an effort; I have been busy too. I started right away. He doesn't seem to be trying yet. But it's only been a couple of days. After 2 months of seeing each other (rarely) I'm thinking I'd rather be completely single than dangling. Waiting. Stressing. I deserve better than that too. Not because I am all-wonderful, but because I am a human being.

I have a bout tomorrow. I mentioned it to him several times and got a non committal response. when a mutual friend mentioned it, he said he didn't see any reason why he wouldn't be able to go.

I'm done if he doesn't show.


BrattyD said...

Good. If he doesn't show, it says something. Something we don't want to hear :o(

I hope he shows. If I was a dood, I'd know how much of a catch you are :o) Guys are dumb.

Samantha M. said...

you definatly deserve better then that. You need someone who will make you happy not stress you out.