My friend Krystal said something that confused me greatly, not because it didn't make sense, but because I don't understand why it does.
"You", she said to me, "Might be too nice."
Which underlined my sister Wendy's comment once at a club when she said that I need to learn how to be a bitch. I spent the rest of the evening alternately practicing my emotionless bitch look and giggling at the absurdity of it. It must have worked because I managed to lure a fella about my age away from my little sister (she thanked me for it) on the dance floor where I proceeded to boogie and he played the air flute. Sure enough, once his fingers were tired, he politely invited me to the bathroom. I replied that I just went but that it was right over there.
I um; never saw him again. It wasn't until later that I realized what he was up to.
Apparently, I am too nice. If I want to keep a man interested, I need to be mean to him.
It looks like I'm gonna live a pretty lonely life. I consider it a perk for any man I date to enjoy my goodies. I certainly can't eat all those cookies by myself (a portion goes to my wife, of course). I enjoy being helpful. And I'm not going to sit at home alone so that I don't appear to be too available. If I'm going, he's invited. If I'm staying, well, he's invited to do that too. Cooking? Eat! I like to buy presents. I like to treat to dinner. I once volunteered to help a guy clean so I could spend time with him. Er... That was a mistake, but he was weird anyway. It's better that it didn't work out.
I think he's the one, actually, that taught me that if I am mean to someone, it means I don't want to be around him. We fought all the time about really stupid stuff. I try not to be overwhelming, and I curb many of my nicey-nice temptations but when I catch myself being less than kind, even in my head, it tells me it's time to move on. If I haven't already been declared a "cool chick" and a "really great friend", I start plotting my exit.
How am I supposed to reconcile the urge to be nice with the apparent dating requirement of being mean? Suppressing my nature hides who I really am and um, isn't that false advertising? I can hear it now...
"I can't date you anymore. I thought you were a bitch but you're actually nice. I just can't hang. I mean, you're a really cool chick and a great friend, but I'm looking for someone who will treat me like dirt..."
Oh wait. I think that may have already happened. Just not in those words.
So it looks like transient relations for me. At least until I find a nice guy who's had enough of the bitches.
S'allright I got plenty of yardwork to do, books to read, and yarn to spin.