Of frustration and not really anguish but something like it. Where I just want to lay down and take a longer nap than I had time for since I am supposed to be somewhere right now. Somewhere that is going to save me almost 500 bucks in closing cost but, I just don't feel like going. I feel like staying home with my pet and my crafts watching The Family Guy and The Simpsons all evening. Hiding out, skipping loans and derby and anything else that might call my attention.
But I don't have time because I need to go to this function and after that I need to go to practice. I missed one last week, I can't keep doing that. It's my exercise. Among other things.
Too many things, too many too many, I'm having trouble keeping it together. I am worried about money, I am worried about house, I worry about my job. The money is short, and the house is having hiccups (Please FHA, I need you to hurry it up) and the job, I love it, but I am insecure after all that has happened. And they, I would have thought they would have more procedures in place.
I need to go grocery shopping and Vettie needs help, but I don't have the money, although I have more than she. I didn't sleep last night for worry about the merchandise I volunteered to take care of.
We're bouting in three weeks, a close friend is divorcing and Cowboy is lost in so many ways, looking for help I am not sure I know how to give anymore. Where do I draw the line between caring, supportive friend and frustrated, impatient woman? They are fighting with each other.
I know this is temporary, that it will all come together, and even out again, and that things bunch up like this periodically, but when you're in the middle of it, it is tough to see the calm after the storm. You know it will be there, you know you will survive, and yet, the stress of surviving is almost too much.
I gotta go. I'm half an hour late.