It ended, just as it began. With a kiss.

I'm really going to miss him.

There is no escaping that we are still going to be a part of each other's life, although I did tell him that I would stay away for awhile. He was very nice about it. It hurt us both. I've been telling myself that it's the best thing to do for a long time but in the midst of it, I questioned.

I'm not used to questioning myself.

Meanwhile, my head is pounding, my belly says  it's hungry even though I don't want to eat and I REALLY don't wish to go to practice tonight.

I start training in as a backup in another position tomorrow morning. I don't feel like that either. I don't want to read, I don't want to watch a movie, all I seem to be able to do is wander around the house. It's only been a couple of hours. If that. Time seems to have slowed to a crawl as I sit and exist. Alone. Again.

I know I have to eat. I don't want to cook and I don't want to spend money going out.

I just don't. Anything.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. It won't be all the way better. But a little would help.