I've always tried my best not to bring any drama into the lives of the men that I date. It happens, I'm human, I'm hardly perfect. But I have tried to be as non demanding as possible. I lay out my rules in the beginning, and move ahead into the fun of being in a relationship, casual or serious.
Pardon me if I am feeling a little dramatic at the moment.
You see, when I make plans with someone, I keep them. It's rare that I cancel. I might be a few minutes late, but I call and warn well ahead of time, and am generally no more than 15 minutes late, which, really is not okay, so I try to be on time. (The Spanksgiving celebration is an exception but it took 5 hours to roast the turkey and another 45 minutes to make the broccoli casserole. My oven isn't big enough for the both of them.)
Nearly an hour after he was supposed to be here, I got a message from B. He's fighting with his ex wife. He's not sure when he will be here. In his defense, 15 minutes before he was supposed to be here, he sent a message that he was going to be late. And I felt more than a bit peeved about it because being late is his m.o. 15 minutes after he was supposed to be here I sent a message that said "?" HE replied that he would be leaving in a few minutes.
I don't know what the fight is about but this isn't the first time she has waylaid our plans. I'm not just upset with her though, I'm upset with him. Because this isn't the first time. Since we have no commitment I don't know what I can say. But it's been nearly two months of dating so I feel like I should be able to say something. Something like, hey, this isn't okay. Or, will you tell her you have plans and can't argue about what ever it is right now. I mean, that's okay right? because what isn't okay is me sitting at home all upset and I'm-not-hungry-anymore and bitching on the internet.
I don't want to add more stress to his world. He tells me that my house is the only place he can go to get away. But continuing to say it's okay? Continues to make me a doormat.
Seester says it's time to cut ties. That's the worst part for me. I don't like cutting ties. I feel like I'm giving up. Plus, I'm a coward. I don't like to hurt people so I suck it up and let things work themselves out. Except that once. That one time, I said something, and the repair wasn't what I hoped at all.
This issue? It's not going to work itself out. And He needs to know that it's not okay. That is quite obvious. But is Seester right? is this the end? Or do I tell him what the problem is and hope he fixes it?
And risk being disappointed? Again...