Thursday, September 08, 2011

For granted

I'm not sure about you, but I need  pep talks when I am feeling a little down. Despite appearances, I do not go out looking for validation of who I am from other people and I certainly try not to solicit it. If I want to feel better about myself, I try to think about all the things that I like about me. There are many. There are things I don't like about me too, and once I am back to a normal frame of mind, I address those things. But not when I am down. When I am down and having trouble getting back up, I pinch and poke and prod with positivity until I am upright.

That isn't why I started writing today. I started on a tangent, likely because I have been doing just those things lately. Actually, I've been having a lot of these moments:

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We all go through these times. I try not to let the turkeys get me down.

I'm still on a tangent.

Truth is, that while I have been poking and prodding myself out of the mud, my email has been a jerk. What does that have to do with anything? Well...

It tends to automatically go back to page 1 of all my saved emails (of which there are really way too many). Sometimes I go back and clear out old emails, but if they have pictures or are especially special, I keep them. One from Jack, my grandfather, who you will remember, passed away a couple of years ago. I think this was my last communication from him. Silly pictures from my sisters. Ok, mostly my big sister. Random things that still tickle.

Better online than at my house, that's for sure.

I noticed something though. There's a lot of kind and thoughtful things in there. How C always made sure I had pictures of stuff; like the tattoo someone had made of his drawing. One I had modeled for. Suggestions on soap and packaging from my sister and cousin from when I first started Bubbly Creations. Encouragements and little things that just said, "I'm thinking of you" or "you are part of my world even if you aren't right here".

Suddenly, I started to wonder about how well I appreciate people back. And whether I tell them enough how much they mean to me. It was a needed eye opener. Even if I DO tell my friends and family that I appreciate them, well, if I am questioning, perhaps I need to tell them more.

New thing to work on now that the mud is just about dry and I can start focusing on my improvements again.

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