Thursday, August 04, 2011

It's like I can HEAR the wind blowing around here

After discussing briefly with Bratty the fact that the Grand Canyon isn't NEARLY as close to Las Vegas as all those tour companies would have you believe, I decided that that perhaps maybe I ought to go ahead and marry the first guy that manages to get me to said landmark as I seem to be incapable of getting there on my own.

Here's the (non) logic.

Once upon a long time ago, I needed to get away so I decided to go see the Grand Canyon. I was living in San Diego at the time so I hopped on the 8 East and started driving. This was before the days of MapQuest (I SAID it was a LONG time ago!) so I didn't know that I was taking the wrong freeway. The Grand Canyon, after all, is somewhere East of San Diego (as is everything else, but I digress). Once I realized I wasn't going to find the giant hole in the ground in Southern Arizona, I decided to drive for 8 hours and maybe I would make it to New Mexico. I have also never been to New Mexico. After about 4 hours of driving, (some of which was taken up by an hour long religious discussion with a man at Jack in the Box. Why do people talk to me? I was READING my book while I ate, for goodness sake!) I got sleepy and it was getting dark so I took exit 102 and somehow found the Petroglyph campground. When I remembered what a Petroglyph was, it was super cool and after tenting it for a night (Likely illegally since I didn't pay for my camp spot, but I was like 19, I didn't know you are supposed to pay for camp spots!) among the bugs, I turned around and went home.

Several years later, I find myself in Vegas with a rental car and a desire to return home via Kingman in order to visit my Grandparents. And I think to myself, The Grand Canyon is somewhere near Vegas AND Kingman because it's in Northern Arizona, right? Maybe the turn off is on the way to Kingman and I can stop by and at least say that I have seen it from the ground (I have, actually, seen it from the air, but that's not the same, damnit) Nope, it's a pretty big detour. I did manage to see Hoover Dam though. I didn't take the Dam Tour, I just drove over it. That was enough.

A couple of years later, T announced that he would like to take me camping at... THE GRAND CANYON and I went SQUEEEE (in my head because most peolpe don't get to see me go nuts) and I thought, I wanna keep this one because he wants to take me places that are awesome. We know how that ended. I hope T is doing well.

I still haven't made it to the Grand Canyon. At this point, it would be a REALLY long drive and I might even rather go somewhere closer.

Ultimately, I should be careful what I wish for. The senarios are playing thorugh my head and I REALLY don't want to marry the first guy who takes me to the Grand Canyon. Who knows what kind of madman might volunteer to make that VERY LONG drive with me? It takes a special kind of nut to spend that much time in my presence. And what if that person wasn't someone I was interested in romantically? I'd have to say "No" and make a liar out of me.

Sigh. Guess I'll have to get my own self to the Grand Canyon.

1 comment:

Sensei said...

While you are too old for me to marry, I'd be happy to be your co-driver/navigator to make a trip to the Grand Canyon. I've never been there, but most of my family has, so I need to do it, just to be able to talk about it like they do.