Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I miss sleep

  • I stopped following Cheese on Twitter all together last night because he is making some really poor choices and I can't watch him throw all the good things away. I also refuse to feel responsible for his downward spiral and I think that watching  it will only make me feel guilty. I hope he pulls out of this tailspin quickly.
  • I need to stop taking Derby personally. I end up looking like an asshole and I am tired of it.
  • Still not sure about the guy. Flash Crash gets a very strong creepy vibe. And that it definately something to take into consideration. Time will tell

Talked to Cheese. He said that twitter wasn't entirely accurate. I let him know how it appears when he posts certain things and he said he would be more careful.
a little while later, he asked if he could point out a few things about me. Since I like to pretend that I can take constructive criticism and learn from it, I accepted his offer.
He didn't want me to read the emails until I got home, but of course i did because, well, you would too. Much of what he said was accurate. Some was most certainly not.
I never cheated. never ever. I looked. I'm human. I'm sure he looked too. But I never touched. Never flirted, never crossed any lines.
I will respond to him when I get home.

I'm so tired of navel gazing. while I am sure I haven't discovered all my flaws, there are so many of them I am aware of. I sit and stare at them, they haunt my sleepless nights. I know he needs to get these things out, that it is part of his healing process, and he needs to admit to me and to himself that I am hardly perfect. despite my bravado, its not easy to see it spelled out.


Chickie said...

Since I like to pretend that I can take constructive criticism and learn from it, I accepted his offer. Hahahahahaha! I tip my hat to you that you will even pretend. I ask Sweety if he's sure when he wants to tell me something.

BrattyD said...

I get a creepy vibe too, sad to say :( We were talking about that at the after party. we could be wrong though!