Radomness

I should be working. Not working at work, but working at my business which I can smell so strongly from here as it cures on the curing racks.

Soap. I've been soaping again. I created instead of skating last wednesday and although I feel a little guilty for missing practice, I know it was the right thing to do because I used my time wisely.

Today I invested money I don't have in my business. For the first time in years I spent money on something that wasn't supplies, postage or Licenses. I finally bought QuickBooks. It's time to move into the 21st century and start tracking things correctly. I hope it can do all the things I know how to do in my head. I also bought a program that will help me send email newsletters. 21st century. Email has power. I hope...I think...I have not installed them yet. There's a batch of Butt Soap staring at me. Waiting to be wrapped. I brought the wrapping home today. Something new I want to try. Catalog pages that would have gone to the compactor and then to the dump. Extra catalogs that a company sends me. Thousands of pages of waste. The catalog is a good foot thick and has been holding down the floor in my office for a couple of months because the housekeepers don't throw away stuff left NEXT to the can and because when they didn't, I didn't have the heart. I hope my customers appreciate the gesture. It seems like a better thing to do than to buy new blank paper to wrap in. It's just going to get thrown away anyway.

Boy, boy, there's still a boy. and he is yet unnamed because I just can't call him China Man despite the dark comedy of the conversation that inspired the name. We are still enjoying each other. Learning what is safe. There isn't a whole lot I consider safe. I rarely trust anyone that far. I've been remembering a lot of the past lately. Trying to move forward. Always trying to move forward. I won't let it hold me back but I won't forget the lessons either. He doesn't need to know those things. It's too early in the game. I know there are things he doesn't tell me too. I wonder but won't push. It's part of the life he has when he isn't with me.

How dark I sound to myself. perhaps some punkin ice cream will break me out of this odd mood before the boy arrives. And hats. I haven't made a hat today. Tiny hats for needy babies. I will try to remember to take a picture of them when the pile is done. I'm at 4. My goal at the end of the week is 10.