I live in a world where there are consequences for my actions. They may not happen right away, but eventually the things I do catch up with me.
It drives me crazy, by the way, to be around people who have no apparent consequences to their actions.
This is the reason for the budget, as I have been pounding into the blogosphere for the last couple of months. In just a few years, I have managed to put myself right back into the same amount to debt I was in when I got my job at Starbucks. Clearly, I just didn't learn my lesson the first time.
I'm doing good. I'm avoiding situations where I might spend money, even if it means that I miss out on the fun, but since I'm at home, I'm having to find things to do, which means catching up on projects that I would otherwise be putting off.
Today I had an invitation to go to breakfast after practice. There would be lots of great derby girls there and a chance to get to know people I don't normally hang out with. It was easy to say no, because it isn't in my budget. (Technically, this would be in the entertainment budget but that's gone) what wasn't easy was refusing the kind offer to have my breakfast paid for. I didn't want to be rude, but...
I don't want to be that girl, and I think I have been in the past. The one who lives beyond her means by letting other people take care of her. Like the night I popped in to say hi to the ladies who were having dinner after practice, not intending to stay, knowing I didn't have the money, and ended up having my dinner paid for. This wasn't by design, I would have done the same for someone else, but it doesn't make me feel good about myself.
Missing these things is the repercussion for overspending. It's a price I have to pay for getting myself in order and getting my bills paid off so that in the future I CAN go to breakfast or go get a burger without counting the change in the change jar. That $10 I would have spent on breakfast is $10 I need to fix my car or the fence or to go to LA for my sister's birthday.
I know I talk about it a lot, but I'm seeing money in a whole new way. Not as an infinite resource but as a precious commodity that I need to survive I the manner to which I am accustomed. Except that I can't do it in the manner to which I am accustomed because that way is more than I have. And that means not spending what other people have as well.