No Really. I might be suffering

I'm not certain at what point a person can be considered a candidate for early onset dementia. I'm beginning to think that someone should nominate me.

I am, forgetful. I remember silly things like how scratchy the izod velour pantsuit my mom's boyfriend bought me when I was 4 or so felt. I have trouble, though, with more contemporary issues. I've missed appointments, forgotten to call, burnt dinner.

Actually, I don't burn dinner so often anymore because the dog reminds me that there's something I'm forgetting in the kitchen.

this weekend though, it takes the cake.

I've lost my purse. It's somewhere in my house (I hope). I had it Saturday night. I had it Sunday morning. I lost it before I left to go hang with the girls on Sunday evening. I vaguely remember picking it up with the intent to vacuum. I remember putting it somewhere that made sense at the time as a new place to keep it where I wouldn't forget to grab it in the morning and it would no longer be on the floor next to the door where things tend to gather.

"Put it in a safe place" is absolute code in my family for "it's lost forever". Add that to the fact that I'm a squirrel at heart, and there are weird things stashed everywhere. I found $60 in a deck of cards once. I found my cell phone in the linen closet once. I forgot to feed the bird on many occasions.

I have checked high and low. In every cabinet, on every shelf. I checked my room, the spare room (long shot, I only go in there to prepare it for guests) the bathrooms (both of them) the laundry room and the kitchen. I looked in the liquor cabinet twice.

This is not a tiny clutch. It's a sizable bit of baggage.

I have the nessecities. Bank card, ID, Keys, cell phone. I checked to see if the Mastercard has been used (nope). Since I was home during the time it went missing, if it was stolen, the person would have had to sneak in without alerting myself or the dog, who goes nuts  if you set foot on my driveway.


Just now, I checked the microwave. I would have looked behind the espresso machine but HOLY SHIT there's a giant black widow over there. the size of my thumb. Did I mention that I also have trouble with space perception? Even so. giant black widow.

This morning, I woke up certain that I knew where it was. And relived because I REALLY WANT MY IPOD. It wasn't there.

I have run out of potential hidey-holes. which means I must be going crazy.