I had a sneaky suspicion that perhaps my "relationship" wasn't quite as meaningful as I would like it to be. Once again, I was feeling like I wasn't getting quite enough attention, one morning I woke up and the voice in my head said "you desperately want this to mean something", and I have really good reason to believe that he is seeing someone else too.
Girly trash in the bathroom in a bachelor's room is a pretty damn good indication. (and no, I didn't mention it and no, I wasn't digging through the trash, it was RIGHT THERE ON TOP. I couldn't miss it when I flushed the toilet.)
So I asked.
Apparently, I am not a booty call. Things are not serious (I didn't think they were) but he thinks too highly of me to consider me a booty call. He likes my company.
I don't think I have to tell you what the voice in my head said about that.
But I will give him that he took me to the movies that night and there was no monkey business so I feel a bit better about things. And the voice is quieter. And I will continue to see him because I like his company too.
It's not what I want. I want something with substance. And for some reason I keep inviting casual. I'm really looking hard at myself to find out why. Maybe it will grow into something, but in my experience, it won't, and I am not going to sit and wait for him to decide he can't live without me. Because he won't. And I already know I can live without him.
I am reminded, once again, that I tend to do better single. no emotional rollercoasters and I get things done. Like working on my business (I touch it almost every day lately!) and I start NEW adventures like the one below... Maybe that is my problem. That I am so independent that I give off the "i don't need you" vibe. And I invite men who don't want to be needed. Except Cheese. But we have been over that.
In more positive and exciting news...
My friend Heather and I have started something great and I want you all to go take a look at it because, it's awesome and I am super excited about it. And by all means, join in the fun!