Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I looked him in the eye and I lied

I went to In and Out tonight. I don't really have the money to be buying fast food, and there IS food at my house, but I really wanted a cheeseburger so I stole five bux out of my Europe fund, promised the dog I would be right back, and left

When I arrived, the drive through line was so long I figured I'd waste a burger's worth of gas sitting in it so I went in, passing by a kid at the door on my way.

He looked at me, teenage eyes glowing with embarrassment and asked if I had 75 cents or so.

I looked him in the eye and said, I only have enough for my dinner.

Which isn't completely untrue, a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake is about $5. but I wasn't going to get a shake.

I entered the restaurant and looked around me. I was surrounded by a high school sports team. I don't know if they are connected, but I remembered what it was like to watch your friends eat and not have any money to buy your own. To tell them you aren't hungry. To wish you had a bit of cash so you could pretend you were like them.

I know it was my own issues talking. I know I have no reason to feel guilty, but when I got my change, I went looking for that boy; the need to help overcoming my dislike of begging. He was gone.

But he was back when I left. So I gave him $1, much to his surprise, and muttered something about remembering what it is like to be hungry. I felt a little silly. And who knows, he might have made all sorts of cash out there by the In and Out door. Maybe I'm a sucker.

Or maybe he was hungry.


Les Becker said...

Hey! I'm catching up with Imaginary Friends of yesteryear, and hoping you remember me from Where the Walls are Soft (and by "remember me", I mean, "remember me, FONDLY", of course).

I've revamped and amalgamated that blog along with a couple other non-starters into a brand new mess of fabulousness, and hope you'll come to visit. Or rant, bitch me out or just generally say sill things, cuz that's mostly what I miss from 2005-2008.

Hope to chat soon!


P.S. You probably made that kid's day.

Les Becker said...

Ahem...* With apologies: I jumped the gun thinking you were one blogger, when it turns out you were only mentioning that blogger. So... uh...


Ginamonster said...

Hi Les!

now I am curious, of course, so i will have to go see what your blog is all about..