After several months of being on the Flylady system, I fell off. Not because it isn't still a great system, but because it got hard to keep up, And my daily list of things to do kept getting longer and longer. They were no longer fitting on an index card.
So I stopped making them. Things stopped getting done. And I felt like a failure every time I looked at one of my little bullitin boards where my index cards go.
I remembered pretty quickly that as a list maker, I need my lists. BUT I realized that by expecting myself to accomplish an entire list every day, I was setting myself up for failure. I tried to hop back on the train but fell off again. I was overwhemed. I put too many things on my list and I shut down.
I happened across a website one day that talked about working with your inner child to learn how to get things done. We all know that I'm in pretty good touch with my inner child. I understand that she is the essence of who I am so when she throws a fit, I listen. mostly. (hence I didn't buy a car I know I would hate driving) BUT like any child I have to make her do her chores.
I recently started over at the beginning. Baby steps, you know? The crap we were all supposed to learn when we were 3 that for some reason never stuck with me. The stuff that should have me calling Nanny McPhee
"Clean up after yourself"
Easy peasy, right? But even that little bit of discipline is hard for me sometimes. It's weird for me to admit that I don't pick up after myself. That I tend not to put my toys away. I am not a dirty person. I like things neat and clean, and yet I let it pile up, finding excuses why it doesn't get done.
I'm proud to say that since I've been focusing on that simple thing, my kitchen has stayed clean. And the stuff that has piled up (ahem, laundry) I'm knocking out 5 items at a time. Whether it's putting away 5 pairs of socks from my laundry basket each time I walk into my room, or putting away 5 hair baubles I've left on the shelf in my bathroom. If it doesn't happen, I don't beat myself up.
The other stuff is still getting done. I've created a new and ongoing list that goes with me everywhere. When something pops into my head, I write it on my list and deal with it later. It seems to be working. For now. Thanks to my list, I have been forgetting less stuff and have been becoming more of the person that I want to be. I don't have to worry about the fact that the kitchen needs to be cleaned, so I am able to remember to grab my coat on a cold day.
The little things I (for some reason) never learned. I'm amazed at all the lessons I managed to miss.