Cheese's daughter was in town again this weekend. Since he had been gone for a week, he discussed scheduling with her mom ahead of time so that he could spend time with both of us. Friday night with me, and Saturday night with her. And the days, of course, were hers.
Since I wanted to spend time with Cheese, I also spent time with her and we had a nice time. We ran some errands and watched a couple of movies, and prepared for the Easter BBQ planned at the House of Cheese. Since I was forewarned of her visitation, I did not freak out in the least at spending 2 strait days with a 4 year old and I simply said , "thank you" when she told me (and often) that she loves me. ( EEK!)
I did not stay the night at his house Saturday night even though I was invited because I still think it inappropriate for the Mini One to be seeing us sleeping together and such.
Fast forward to Sunday. The ex has decided to stay another day so Cheese asked her if it would be ok if he spent the night with me. He was very polite about it and definately gave her the option to say "no". She was ok with it which was really cool. He's off again this morning for who knows how long so it was nice to get a little bit of alone time in.
But at some point, when I wasn't hearing she asked. She asked if the MO could go to my house with him.
He explained to her (again) that I am not comfortable with that. He backed me up and said that I didn't want to get too attached too soon in case things don't work out between us. She replied (and with an understandable point) that if this was the case, I shouldn't have met MO at all.
We all know I agree with that, but things sometimes happen that are out of my control (heaven forbid!! lol)
Then she said one of the most horrible things I have ever heard.
She said that the reason she is ok with MO staying at my house is that she has met me and knows she could pick me out of a police lineup.
I am horrified. Not because she is talking about me being in a police lineup but because I am aware of a bone chilling truth.
If you are picking me (or anyone!!) out of a lineup, it's too late. Your kid has already been hurt. There has already been damage done that may have been prevented if you had just made a different choice. Identifying me in a lineup, seeing justice done would not bring back her innocence or worse, her life.
No, I am not a complete stranger. My face is known and (mostly) trusted in the household. And I would NEVER harm that child. never. But I like to pretend I'm one of the good guys. And I can't believe that anyone would consider it safe for their child to be at someone's house just because they can pick them out of a lineup. Because it's not just strangers that pose dangers.
And no. Being bosom buddies and life long friends doesn't make me safe either. and yes, I am safe. And no, it's not like MO would be left alone with me.
It's the thought. The thought that I (or anyone) is safe because I am known. Because I would be recognized...
shudder.
But at some point, when I wasn't hearing she asked. She asked if the MO could go to my house with him.
He explained to her (again) that I am not comfortable with that. He backed me up and said that I didn't want to get too attached too soon in case things don't work out between us. She replied (and with an understandable point) that if this was the case, I shouldn't have met MO at all.
We all know I agree with that, but things sometimes happen that are out of my control (heaven forbid!! lol)
Then she said one of the most horrible things I have ever heard.
She said that the reason she is ok with MO staying at my house is that she has met me and knows she could pick me out of a police lineup.
I am horrified. Not because she is talking about me being in a police lineup but because I am aware of a bone chilling truth.
If you are picking me (or anyone!!) out of a lineup, it's too late. Your kid has already been hurt. There has already been damage done that may have been prevented if you had just made a different choice. Identifying me in a lineup, seeing justice done would not bring back her innocence or worse, her life.
No, I am not a complete stranger. My face is known and (mostly) trusted in the household. And I would NEVER harm that child. never. But I like to pretend I'm one of the good guys. And I can't believe that anyone would consider it safe for their child to be at someone's house just because they can pick them out of a lineup. Because it's not just strangers that pose dangers.
And no. Being bosom buddies and life long friends doesn't make me safe either. and yes, I am safe. And no, it's not like MO would be left alone with me.
It's the thought. The thought that I (or anyone) is safe because I am known. Because I would be recognized...
shudder.
3 comments:
Send her a note stating, "You don't have to worry about a police lineup", because they know you from your days "on the force", and accompany the note with a picture of you in your Roller Derby "Cops" uniform from the Cops and Robbers nights.
Wow. No kidding...that is something else to say! If something bad did happen to my kid, I don't think I'd get much comfort out of being able to find the bad guy. That's like closing the barn door after the horse gets out.
In fact, I would not say, "Pick you out of a police line up."
My phrase I used with my step-daughter's boyfriends was, "If you do anything that upsets me, just remember a 50 caliber sniper rifle can kill a man at a mile and a half away."
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