Where I'm at

I'm in a funny spot, overall.

In many ways, things are just fine. No real complaints. I'm a complainer, so I will always have SOME sort of complaint. But nothing that is really solid. Things are pretty darn good.

But jobwise, I need to start looking at where I want to be in 5 years. I haven't really done that before. Actually, I've been just allowing life to happen because it seems like every time I make a plan, it gets derailed.

It's been awhile since things have gone upside down and I am feeling confident that they will remain even keel. I have a more settled lifestyle than I did before. I make different decisions.

Bubbly Creations will always remain plan A. And I am fired up these days to make a go of it. Work harder and smarter on marketing and other places that I tend to ignore. I'm also finally ready to start leveraging the assistance of the people who have been offering it over the last 8 years. If I want to be successful, I need to use my tools. And I can't keep trying to do it on my own.

Plan B? I don't know yet. I know that BC is not going to sustain me or to get me ahead soon enough for me to do it full time until all that work I should have started years ago flowers. That might take a year or two. In the mean time, I still have a mortgage and credit cards to pay and a lifestyle to maintain. Even simple lifestyles cost money.

So I will start working on Plan B too. Where do I want to be in 5 years? I'm not sure. But it's not where I am at. There's nothing wrong with my job, I am grateful for it,  but I know I am capable of more. So much more. So my plan is to look at the opportunities at the company where I work and see what is available. To choose one and make a conscious effort at getting to that level, whatever that level might be. I have ideas about where I DON'T want to be, but until I know what else I want to do, I can't move forward.

I've never done that before. I've always gone elsewhere when I needed to better my position. It's possible that I will need to do just that. Moving companies though, that means starting over. Getting to know a new group of people. Proving my worth all over. Waiting for medical coverage and vacation days. Also, it feels like when I move companies I take a step back in many ways. I don't want to take any more steps back. Forward.

Forward so that I can do things like put a new roof on the house. Fix the fence. Landscape? Oh landscaping would be lovely. 5 years, make my house a better one and buy something new(er). Something with built in sprinklers and maybe air conditioning. Rent out the Elfin Cottage to a little family starting out and not sweat including the refrigerator and washer/dryer set in the rent. Make sure they have a good water heater since the one in the house now was purchased at a store that went out of business close to 20 years ago. Have the money in the bank that will cover a new dishwasher if they need it or anything else that might go sideways. I've been told that the number to hit is $10,000. I'm partway there.

Forward so that I can take a vacation once in awhile. A friend of mine is going to Thailand in October. I could go, but it would empty my savings account. Worth it for the experience, but not for the stress of losing my cushion. Also, that would put me behind in the goal I set out above.

Forward. In 5 years I'll be 41. I don't feel that old. It's not old. But life keeps moving even if I don't want to. I have to move with it. And that's where I'm at. Today.

Dear Lady on the Freeway behind me this morning

Hi. It's the Soapgirl in front of you. Please note a couple of things before I begin.

First, the sticker on my back windshield will likely give you the impression that I am involved with The Reno Roller Girls. This is true. It means that I like to skate. And I like to skate fast. So I'm not really going slow to piss you off.

Second, I drive a 12 13 year old 4 banger. This means that although I like to skate fast, and I also like to DRIVE fast, sometimes it takes my little jalopy a bit of time to get there. Especially when there is a slight incline. yes. Slight. My Honey has never liked hills, even when she was a new jalopy.

As we moved out of the traffic at what is known around here as the Spaghetti Bowl where, not far from the interchange there were at least two accidents, I noticed that you were riding my butt. Wow. You were close. My speedometer said just less than 65, but I was working on accellerating. I would have accellerated sooner, but, there was traffice stopped on the freeway which means I proceeded with caution. And boy, you were riding my butt. I didn't move over.

I wanted to move over to get out of your way, but you see, I learned in High School Physics that matter cannot occupy the same place at the same time. I think that's Newton's first law of dumbass or something, which, I'm guessing you didn't learn because you were doing your best to meld with my car. I will be a little crass and tell you that my car doesn't like to take it in the rear.

As soon as I passed the semi truck on my right (putting plenty of distance between us so that I didn't cut him off), I put on my blinker, checked my review (oh my! you are even closer!), checked my sideviews, and then checked over my right shoulder because my darling car has lots and lots of marvelous blindspots and I want to live a very long time.

Then I started to move over so that you could go on your merry way. BUT WAIT! This was not fast enough because by the time I started moving over, you sped up and got over to the right and started to overtake me.

Thankfully I saw you and swerved back into my lane and also got to see you give me a dirty look as you passed me up. If I hadn't swerved suddenly to the left, your left front fender would have been hit by my right rear quarter panel resulting in a pretty ugly accident that we both would have been lucky to have survived given the velosity and the angle of impact which likely would have put me in a spin and given my high center of gravity, maybe a flip, which would have REALLY sucked because we were on an overpass.

Did we hypothetically live??

No we didn't. Because at freeway speeds, there is no way that semi truck would have avoided hitting our cars had we avoided going over the railing. On a two lane overpass, even if one of us was in each lane, someone would have been hit by that semi. And maybe, because those things are WAY more delicate than they show in the Cannonball movies, he might have jackknifed.

As you drove off, weaving through traffic, I hoped that wherever you were going was worth your life and possibly someone else's, because by the time you left me in the dust, I was going about 70 mph and you were passing everyone else, which puts you at 90 to 100 mph.

Just wanted to bring it to your attention that your extreme driving techniques nearly killed me and maybe you.

You're welcome for the physics lesson, asshole.

It's a new year. Again.

I don't really make resolutions. Or at least, not ones that I intend to keep. I'd rather act on bettering myself NOW as opposed to saving it for the end of the calendar when I might have forgotten how I wanted to better myself AND when there is so much expectation. This is why I started organizing my life back in July. And why I started exercising more in June, with a step up in August. It's why I took my finances by the horns in November even though we were THIS CLOSE to the traditional period of goal setting.

Somehow that went a lot more in a serious direction than I intended, but I'm also going though a more serious period.

Which is why it was really good that I decided to pretend for a little bit that I couldn't afford it and head over the hill to Six Flags for New Year's Eve.

When the clock struck twelve, I was on a roller coaster. The fireworks were going off and my wifey was by my side. There were no new year kisses, no boys (Holger doesn't count), and for a rare occasion, I was okay with that. As I rode that coaster twice more (all together 4x in a row) I thought about how my life is going right now and how good it feels to be putting it all together and heading in a positive direction. I also thought about how a fifth round would likely make me puke.

To me, my New Year holiday was perfect. A little bit of adventure, and a bright outlook for the future. Good company, and a unique way to hurtle into 2013.

Losing track of my shit

Last December, I traded in my Southwest points for a free round trip ticket with the intention of using it for my holiday travel this year.

That meant that I would only have to pay for one ticket instead of two. When Thanksgiving rolled around and I was still overdrawing and my credit cards were still (thankfully) lost, I cancelled my trip South so I could get myself in order. I was thankful that I still had a round trip ticket to get me home for Christmas.

Until I tried to book the trip. And learned that the ticket was going to expire in 4 days.

Oh the things I could have done with that ticket. RollerCon. Brother in Law's 40th birthday bash. Thanksgiving.

And it's gone. Because I was too distracted to pay proper attention. I assumed that it expired on the 31st, not the 12th. Which means that I had to pay for my ticket South for Christmas. Since I didn't have the cash on hand, I put it on the credit card. I'll be paying that off over the next 8 months if I add an extra $50 per month to my MasterCard payment. (ouch!) That's almost time to get another ticket! If I had saved $50 per month over the last 8 months, I would have been able to pay cash.

Hm. What a concept!

Befriend the girl holding her pointy things

I never knew that knitting would make me so many friends. Apparently, there is something soothing about a woman and her yarn. And 12 inch metal sticks with semi sharp points on the end.

You see, knitting needles are legal on airplanes. And THANK GOODNESS for that because I don't know what I would do with myself otherwise. Especially on return trips when I have finished both the books I took with me. On the way there, I had nice conversations with a woman while we waiting for our flight. Then I made friends with another woman on the way. Within 5 minutes, she gave me her business card with her personal number on it. She would like to accompany me on my explorations of the great state of Nevada.

Then, on the way home, I got another phone number but since this one was from someone I already know, it doesn't really count. Honestly, if ever we should meet, part, and then meet again, don't be angry if I don't recognize you. My brain is so filled with useless information (did I mention that Santa farts pepperminty? speaking of farts, someone was farting on the plane on the way home and it wasn't me. I think I was having premonitions because all I could think about on the way to SD was what happens when someone has gas on the plane) that I can't remember important things like what people look like even if I have met them several times. ANYWAY, the lady next to me chatted me up all the way home, which was cool because she was nice. She did not give me her phone number. I'm okay with that.

Writing this, I am wondering if they befriended the girl with the pointy objects because who better to know if a terrorist takes over than the person on the plane with sharp pointy objects? after all my scissors could prick a finger. I feel so used. But in a cool superhero sort of way. It appears that I would have knitting needles hanging out of my utility belt. and um, yarn cuffs, yeah.

I think I am going to have to revise my superhero outfit. thankfully, my new utility belt does not get in the way of my kung fu hair and vice grip thighs.

Crap. I just totally lost my train of though while trying to find the superhero posts then link to them. fuck it. goodnight.